For me this book has not been a quick read. I bought this book back in June or July and I still have two chapters left to read. In my case, it has been one of those books you pick up and read a chapter of...cry, think, ponder, search out the scriptures that are brought up, remember the Bible stories from Sunday school alluded to, and put down for a week, a month...then pick back up and start the process again. Some books I finish in days, hours, unable to stop reading them...not this one, not this book, and that is not because it is not well written, interesting, thought provoking, or inspiring...It is because it is personal, touching, and a book, for me, that takes time to process. I think God knew this book would be good for me to read. It is about trusting the Lord, and learning to practice thankfulness in an effort to build that trust with him.
So here I am reading a chapter on what the author calls "The Ugly Beautiful" and I get Strep Throat. Now mind you, my family has, like many other families with small children, been battling illness since Thanksgiving. Not terrible, life threatening illness; but the uncomfortable, up late at night, cranky toddler, ear infection, sick husband with Strep Throat, tired kindergarten with stuffy nose type of illness, and to be honest, I am literally sick of it. So when I had a little scratchy throat Thursday night I thought, not now, not me, I don't want to be sick. I tried to will it away, pray it away, negotiate with God, "You know I don't have time to be sick. Wouldn't it be better if I just felt better and could do all the things I need to do tomorrow. I have Bible Study in the morning, groceries to shop for, high schoolers coming to my house for a bon-fire in the freezing cold...No time for the ugly illness to start now..." God didn't agree with that because as the night progressed the little tickle in my throat began to feel like shards of glass every time I swallowed and I was awake and angry...I knew what this was, I knew it would require a trip to the doctor, antibiotics, and time...precious, precious time doing what I didn't want to do, feeling like I didn't want to feel. I didn't see any beauty in this ugliness and I wasn't thankful at all for my soar throat.
The ugly beautiful: I made the phone call to the doctor's office and asked for a same day appointment, to which the receptionist at first said impossible, then thankfully found a 3 o'clock for me. My husband drove me to the doctor, went grocery shopping with Joanna while I was there with Lily and then took me to get a shake to numb my throat while we waited on my prescription. The doctor prescribed Lily antibiotics as well without doing a Strep test, which she greatly feared, because she had all the same symptoms I did. This meant not having to make a second trip to the pediatrician which was a huge blessing. When we all arrived home, I laid on the couch while Jason made pizza with the girls. As I laid there, I saw it, the beauty in the ashes...If I hadn't been sick, I wouldn't of had this moment of watching my husband, wearing an apron
covered in cherries that Lily picked out for him toss pizza dough in the air while both my little ladies stood on chairs at the counter assisting their daddy. If I hadn't been sick, I would not have experienced the thoughtful care my husband took of me while I felt physically miserable. To be honest, I laid there on the couch and felt completely satisfied with the moment and thankful for the momentary illness that brought my family together on a Friday afternoon to make pizza. Thank you lord for the ugly beautiful and for books that are written to remind us of your faithfulness.