Lights Out...

So last night I had big plans.  Jason went to the high school all-nighter with the youth group and I for the first time decided to not participate.  Motherhood has taught me that all-nighters come more frequently than once a year and are a lot less fun than midnight bowling so I decided to stay home with my girls and sleep.

My plan:  To put the two little ladies to bed around 8:30, mop the floor, and stay up late watching all the girl movies from the Red-box at Ridley's that no one else in my family currently appreciates.

So dinner was done, and mostly cleaned up.  Joanna was in her PJ's headed to bed and Lily was watching Tangled when the wind started howling, and rearranging the furniture on the deck.  Lily and Joanna were freaked out and I was reassuring them it was all going to be fine when the lights began to flicker...once, twice... then out.

All of a sudden my two little freak outs became big freak outs.  Windy, stormy night is not usually a favorite with little girls, and the cherry on top, pitch black house when Dad isn't home, equaled total panic.  Now, if you know me, you know that I am a total scaredy-cat.  I am not a fan of scary movies, or the dark.  I love light.  I love sunshine. I love moonlight, but only romantic strolling on the beach moonlight, not dark stormy night moonlight.  So here I am, home alone with two little kids, and to be completely honest totally freaking out on the inside myself.  On the outside though, "I am woman hear me roar."  I am calm, reassuring.  Finding candles and flashlights while hold one child and trying to hug the other clinging to my side in terror.

Needless to say, we had to walk downstairs and to the garage to find a flashlight...both girls and the dog came with.  Needless to say my floors didn't get mopped because when the power came back on at 10:30 (approximately 3 hours later)  Lily sat up from under her blankets of protection and proclaimed "Hallelujah", then refused to leave my side in case it happened again.  So there we sat on the coach, snuggled together, while Joanna slept in her crib...trying to follow a movie that I think I watched less of than Lily.  Needless to say, my girl's night movies were left unwatched and will probably return to the their Red Box home just the way they came, unwatched and unappreciated by the Richardson household.

And even though, my night of clean floors, rest, and relaxation turned into coloring on the coach with flashlights and singing "Jesus Loves Me" a few times while pretending to not fear the storm outside and the dark inside, I am blessed.  I am blessed to have a healthy six year old who trusts me to protect her from the dark and her fears.  I am blessed to have a home that keeps the wind and cold at bay when the storms rage.  I am blessed to have friends to call and chat with to keep my mind off the fear when the dark seems too big and my side kick is hiding under a blanket, but most of all I am supremely blessed to have a savior who does love me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there 
is no darkness at all. 


1 John 1:5

So, about last night....

At 11:45 pm on Saturday night...

Last night was one of those nights.  One of those nights where your kid throws up on someone else's living room floor.  One of those nights where you sit in an empty waiting room for the Dr. to tell you it isn't Strep Throat and you probably should of just went home and put your kid to bed.  One of those nights when your big grown up six year old all of a sudden becomes your little baby again.  

As I sat there, for an hour, in the empty waiting room, watching my little lady sleep...I realized once again how precious she is, how fragile she is, how sweet she is, and just how much my heart aches with love for her.  

So...I took a picture.  Maybe that is weird, but all at once I was flooded with the feeling that right now won't last very long and I wanted to save this moment for later, because soon she will be too big to carry to the car, soon she won't have me drive her to the Dr., soon she will be all grown up to the outside world, but to me she will always be my little lady Lily.  

Thank you God for my sweet girls, in sickness and in health. Amen.